Human beings can have emotional reactions to any demanding and stressful event, especially an event such as the attack upon and destruction of the World Trade Center. It is often difficult to take care of yourself in the middle of such a crisis especially if your attention is focused upon the basic needs of safety, work, food, clothing and shelter. To help minimize stress and assist people in managing and recovering from stress related to the recent traumatic events that they have experienced, I offer over-the-phone counseling assistance. counseling experience  You can help yourself cope with reactions though self-care. Self-care can enhance your emotional stamina and help you begin to return your life to some semblance of normalcy.   Examples of Self-care Stay away from mood-altering substances. Get plenty of rest if you can. Eat well-balanced meals Practice stress reduction techniques: deep breathing meditation progressive relaxation Be aware of "survivor guilt." Give yourself permission to feel bad Schedule it in your day. Let yourself cry. Give yourself permission to feel good. Make small decisions daily to get control of your life back. Put off major life decisions, if possible. Give yourself permission to focus on someone outside yourself. Remind yourself that your reactions are normal Engage in practices that are meaningful to you, such as: prayer services walk in woods sitting quietly reading inspirational material journal writing

Coaching in person, via phone and via email.

Remarks from 'satisfied customers'.

"When I got sick, ANKE guided me through the labyrinth of confusion and always insisted on my taking my 'two cups of joy a day.' despite everything." She never stopped believing in me."

"ANKE knows how to cut through the basics issues. She taught me how to stay focused on my strong points and how to improve my weaker points in the process. I can continue now!

"I first needed to see what I was really doing before I could change my condition. ANKE helped me to see this in her own subtle way. She hits the nail on the head. She is able to see the big picture and keep things in perspective."

Helping Children Cope with Trauma

Children and youth, as well as adults, will have feelings about the attacks at the World Trade Center for a long time. Our feeling create our experience. It may be tempting to try to put these feelings out of our minds or think that kids won't be affected, but young people need to be able to openly express their feelings of shock, fear, anger, denial, guilt, or depression. How we help children deal with grief and loss determines how they will develop coping skills as they mature. 

here are some things worth remembering :

• Listen to them, but don't force them to share; let it come naturally. One of the most important needs after a trauma is to talk about the event - often. It may be difficult for you to hear about, or you may tire of hearing the same story, but talking is a crucial part of recovery. Be supportive and sympathetic, but avoid overreacting. Don't try to make it okay; let them express fears, thoughts, and worries.
• Give honest information about the tragedy and deaths based on the child's maturity level. Always be truthful. Avoid euphemisms with children. Tell the child that someone died rather than saying someone "went to sleep" or "went away" because younger children will wonder when they are coming back or be hurt that they left without saying goodbye.
• Keep all promises you make to your child during the crisis. In other words, do not make promises you cannot keep. It is important that your child can count on you when all else is in chaos.
• It's okay to tell your child that you don't have all the answers to his or her questions. Validate their thoughtful questioning.
• Be available to talk to your kids. Talk about the loss/trauma as a family. Sharing can be very healing for everyone. Silence can make children feel isolated, and may convey the message that they should limit their grieving.
• Like adults, children grieve at their own pace. Respect where they are in that process.
• Allow the child to express all the emotions he or she is feeling. Children need to know that their feelings are normal grief feelings even though they might not be normal feelings under other circumstances. If feelings such as anger or guilt persist for many months, professional help might be necessary to help them resolve those feelings.
• Very young children who may not have the verbal skills to express their feelings may express them through other means such as play-acting and/or drawing. Help them name what they are expressing.
• Older children are drawn together in situations of tragedy and will draw strength and support from each other. Give liberty to teenagers around how they make themselves feel better, e.g. turning the stereo on loud, talking on the phone more than usual to their friends. Allow them privacy (both in physical space and to deal with their feelings) if they need it.
• Death in a child's life is inevitable and means different things to children at different ages. Young children (ages 1-5) grieve for the threat to their security, while children six years of age and older grieve more for the actual loss.
• If children indicate in any way that they want help or counseling, get it for them immediately. Most children are hesitant to ask openly for formal counseling, so if this happens, consider it a blatant cry for help.
• Don't expect your child to take care of your fears, i.e. don't keep your child home from school because you are afraid to be separated from him or her. Find help to cope with your fears.

For more information, contact your employee assistance program (EAP), a counselor, or talk with me at 1 425 828 6774

How a Company Can Respond to a National Disaster

During times of national emergency it is important for employers to provide compassionate responses to employee's concerns. As a company your main goals are to:

• Facilitate a sense of security
• Normalize stress reactions.
• Provide a forum for employees to vent thoughts and emotions.
• Provide education about common reactions to traumatic events.
• Provide information on additional resources.

Best practices to reach these goals are outlined below:

1. Facilitate Informational Meetings

These meetings need to be facilitated by company representatives who can remain objective to the best of their ability and who can allow for employees' strong reactions. Taking an objective stance will allow employees a sense of safety. These meetings will provide a sense of structure, which also facilitates a sense of well being.

2. Point to Resources

At this crucial moment, the role of the workplace is to point employees to the resources that are available to them. Group and community support can go a long way in providing a sense of hope and safety. Remind employees about the Employee Assistance Program. Employees can also be reminded of other resources, such as places of worship, loved ones, friends and neighbors. You can also brainstorm with employees about any resources they identify.

3. Communication

Communication is essential. People can gain a sense of security through information. Allow employees assess to information via radio and television. Designate one or more "point persons" in the organization that employees can go to for information. Provide formal communication to employees as needed. Facilitate phone access for employees in order to call family members.

4. Interruption Of Productivity And Interventions

At this time, it is important to anticipate that it can not be business as usual for your company. Employees will be distracted and may have a sense of danger and lack of overall safety. Expect that productivity will be low. Some employees will find comfort in the structure of work. Other employees may be more reactive and may need to go home to be with loved ones. There may be some employees who are more overwhelmed.

These persons may need professional attention and can be directed to call the EAP on their own. Any employee can meet with an EAP provider in the area. Employers should allow for this range of employee needs. Identify your business priorities and communicate these to your employees.

5. A Suggested Agenda for Meeting with the Employees

Step 1. Designate a meeting place and convene group meetings with employees

• Limit groups to 15 employees.
• Groups can be by department.
• Limit meeting to 30 minutes.

Step 2. Discuss objective of meeting:

• To review current facts of the situation.
• To review information as it pertains to the company ( if applicable).
• To allow employees to vent their responses.
• To educate about stress reactions.
• To educate about company resources and plan.

Step 3. Meeting

• Review events and facts.
• Allow employees to vent emotions and thought.
• Employees will have reactions that from anger to shock. Expect and support this wide range of responses.
• Listen.
• Encourage employees to speak one at a time.
• Distribute EAP handouts on stress reactions and self care.
• Remind employees of company safety protocols.

6. Company Response to the Greater Community

The employer can create as sense of hope by developing avenues of actions. What can your organization do to help mobilize the community? How can you be of help? Companies can call local community organizations to offer assistance as dictated by the needs of the organization. Donations and financial assistance can be made available to organizations, families or individuals.

After a National Disaster: Stress Reactions in the Work Environment

Common reactions which you may notice in yourself or in coworkers may include some of the following:

1. Being afraid to return to the work place or being concerned about physical safety in the work environment.
2. Changing regular work routines to avoid physical reminders of the traumatic event.
3. Experiencing flashbacks of trauma which are triggered by sights, sounds and smells in the environment.
4. Decreasing time spent at work through sick leave, vacations and unexplained absences.
5. Questioning whether or not to remain at the present job or even the present profession.
6. Being distracted from the task at hand (which can lead to accidents or errors).
7. Deteriorating work performance and customer relations.
8. Wondering whether they are competent to perform their job
9. Questioning when things will get back to normal.
10. Feeling isolated, as if others do not appear to be as affected as they are by the incident.
11. Feeling angry about the behavior of coworkers.
12. Breakdown in the sense of professionalism on the job.
13. Loss of a sense of humor.
14. Withdrawing from a previous relationship with colleagues.

Disaster Stress Reactions

You have been exposed to a disaster like a tornado, you may have exceeded the demands of day-to-day “normal” life. Your response to this event can be influenced by several factors, such as:

• The type of event and its severity
• Your current life situation
• Your level of responsibility during the event
• Your previous experience in personal crisis
• How physically close you were to the event
• How you were taken care of during the event
• How psychologically close you were to the event
• The availability and continuation of emotional support

After an disaster it is natural to experience some "after shock" or a stress reaction. These are normal responses and are the way we process a demanding life experience. If these responses do not diminish over time it is important that you seek the help of a friend, trusted coworker, loved one or a professional counselor or your physician. Some typical stress responses can include:

Employers who wish to establish an EAP program with over-ther-phone crisis counseling for employees are invited to call me at

1 425 828 6774.

Thank you for your time.

Anke